Don’t isolate yourself.

Out of all the advice I’ve received over the past week, this has by far been the most helpful. Heeding this advice is not only helping me through the almost grief-like beginning stages of acceptance, but it’s also helping me to foster a greater connection to everyone around me.

When I first found out that I’d failed the bar, my gut reaction was to hide away and not tell anyone. I felt that if I could hide my failure, even for just a little while, I could hang onto whatever shred of dignity I had left. Alone and terrified, I found myself quickly slipping into despair.

Despite feelings of shame and disappointment, however, I eventually found myself needing to reach out for support. The only thing I could do at first was text the simple phrase “I didn’t pass” to those closest to me, but that was enough. I can’t tell you how much of a relief it was to do so. Though I only told a handful of people that first day, those individuals kept me from going to a really dark place. For that I am forever grateful.

Even now, after over a week, I’m still fighting the urge hide away. The thought of avoiding people, conversations, and situations where the topic of bar exam might come up enters my mind quite often. But by fighting the urge to isolate, I’m not only learning more about myself and how I handle difficult situations, but also about empathy and the kindness of others.

I am so thankful for the outpouring of support that I’ve received over the past week. If I had succumbed to the urge to isolate myself and allow negative thoughts to dictate my actions, I would have never gotten such positive support.

Q